The grass isn’t greener on the other side: A reflection on relationships

Images from pinterest.

Something that never stops surprising me is how effortlessly we compare our lives to others, especially when the majority of what we are shown are carefully curated, polished moments. Perfect snapshots. Highlight reels. Fragments of lives presented without context, depth or truth. Because that's all they are: glimpses. We almost never see what exists beyond the frame. 

And even though we know this, even though we understand that social media is a filtered version of reality, those flawless moments still find a way to seep in. They make us look at our own lives, our own relationships, through a lens of doubt. Suddenly, what once felt safe and genuine can feel insufficient when placed next to the illusion of perfection. 

The perfect couple. The perfect love story. The perfect proposal, wedding, surprise, or declaration of love. 

What we see as edited, staged, and polished eventually becomes an ideal, and over time that ideal quietly becomes the standard. A standard we begin to measure our very real, very human relationships against. And when our reality doesn't match what we see on our screens, that's when uncertainty begins to grow. That´s when we start questioning something that may never have needed to be questioned in the first place. 

And the more I think about it, the more heartbreaking it becomes, how unfair we are to ourselves, to our lives and to the person we love. We so easily forget that we never truly know what happens behind closed doors. We don´t see the arguments, the misunderstandings, the compromises, the healing or the work it takes to sustain a relationship. All of which are natural and part of every real relationship. 

Because love was never meant to be measured in perfect moments or flawless pictures. It lives in the small, ordinary moments and the moments when life feels anything but perfect, yet you still choose to stand together, take care of one another, and find a way through it together.

And if there is something you long for or wish you had more of in your relationship, start by asking yourself one simple question: have you actually shared this with your partner? Because the truth is, no one can read minds, no matter how much we might hope they can or believe they should. 

Instead of questioning what you have or comparing it to what others seem to have, turn your focus inward. Focus on your relationship. On what truly matters to you and your partner, not on what the noise outside your relationship tells you should matter. Dare to find your own way of communicating. Dare to have difficult conversations. Learn each other's love languages, understand each other's backgrounds and ways of seeing love. Because love doesn't look the same for everyone and that´s not only okay, it´s what makes it real. 

A healthy relationship doesn’t have to be loud, dramatic, or “over the top” to be meaningful. It doesn’t need constant validation from the outside world to be real or strong. Sometimes, the most beautiful love stories are the quiet ones, the ones built on consistency, effort, patience, and choice.

Because the truth is simple: The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.

And the relationship worth protecting is not the one that looks perfect to others, but the one that feels right to you.