Your 20s were never meant to be spent waiting

Images from pinterest

For as long as I can remember, the topic of boys and the idea of wanting a boyfriend has always been present in my life and among my friends. Some of us already knew from a young age that we wanted the whole fairytale. Not just a relationship, but the wedding, marriage. A future. A love story. 

And when Pinterest became a thing, it only made it more real. Suddenly, we weren't just dreaming about love, we were creating folders filled with wedding inspiration, saving photos of dresses, venues, flowers….as if the future was right around the corner. Even though it was years away, we treated it like something we needed to prepare for.  Looking back, I don’t know if it started with all the Disney movies we grew up watching, where the princess was always saved by the prince and they lived happily ever after. Or maybe it was the romantic comedies that came later, where love always arrived at the perfect time, and being single was just the boring, awkward phase before “real life” started. 

It all seemed so innocent at first. Until it wasn´t. Because at some point, it stopped being something we only talked about or watched on a screen. It became real. 

Friends started getting boyfriends. Suddenly, it wasn't just a fantasy anymore it was happening. People were paring off. Love stories were starting. And without even realizing it, it began to feel like you were falling behind if you weren't part of it too. 

We got older.

Some friends had multiple relationships over the years.

And then, in what felt like a blink of an eye, our teenage years were over.

And suddenly, we were in our twenties.

Here we are now. Some of us have friends who are still with the guy they started dating back in high school or someone they met in the very beginning of college. Others seem to have been incredibly lucky on dating apps, finding their person almost effortlessly. 

And sometimes, without meaning to, it can start to feel like everyone around you is building something while you're the only one standing still. Like life is moving forward for everyone else, and you’re somehow stuck in the same place. And the pressure doesn't help. Not the quiet expectations from society, not the comments from your surroundings, and definitely not the feeling of being the “eternal single one” in your friend group. The one who is always alone at the table, always the one without a plus one.

But if you’re in your twenties and you’re single, let this be your reminder: You are not behind. Your twenties were never meant to be spent waiting for prince charming to arrive. They were meant to be yours.  You still have so much life ahead of you, so much to discover, not just about the world but about yourself. This is the time to get to know who you are when no one else is defining you. To try new things. To take chances. To travel, to meet new people, to follow the dreams you've always carried quietly in the back of your mind.  If there's something you've always wanted to do now is the perfect time. Because happiness was never meant to be about having what everyone else has. It´s about finding what feels true to you. It’s about building a life that actually makes you happy, not one that simply looks right from the outside. Everyone is on their own timeline and just because you're single right now doesn't mean you´ll always be. Life isn't a race and love isn't something you're late to. And being someone’s girlfriend was never meant to be the one thing that defines you. You are so much more than a relationship status. So much more than who you´re dating, or whether you have someone beside you.  Don’t choose a relationship simply so you can say you’re no longer alone, without truly knowing what you need, what you value, and what really matters to you. And most importantly, don’t step into something before you love yourself enough to recognize when it’s no longer right and when it’s time to walk away. Because love doesn't only exist in one form.  Romantic love is not the only kind of love that matters, and it´s not the only kind that can make your life feel full. You can still be surrounded by so much love in your friendships, in your family, in the people who show up for you, who truly see you, who choose you in all the quiet ways.  The love that matters most is the love that holds you, supports you, and reminds you that you are never really alone. Because being single doesn’t mean being without love.